There is no greater crime, especially in business, than the misuse of clip-art.
Entire PowerPoint presentations have been destroyed by the use of the wrong image. Slide shows, leaflets, web pages...the content means nothing if the illustrations don't back it up. A simple picture can determine success or failure. Choose the right one, you could make the sale and pay cash for a new cabin cruiser. Choose the wrong one, you could find yourself shivering in a dark alley, drinking piss from an old boot to get your freak on.
One of our first official consulting jobs is to ensure our client, a prominent international corporation, will never find itself in the position of having to worry about appropriate graphical content. In order to ensure the corporation's employees never choose an image without understanding its true meaning, we supply captions for the company's existing library of clip-art images. As a public service, we have supplied a small sample of some of our work below, in the hopes that the demonstrated quality of our work can help us land another sweet contract just like it.
"Don't know what the hell kind a bird it is, but it's bound to make for
good eatin'."
"Damn bastards keep calling me an ass to my face. It may be true, but
it's not funny."
"And so, as you see, our plans for world domination will be hampered
because we have no necks."
The library was much quieter after the patrons had their mouths removed.
The Amazing Hendricks ruined Little Jimmy's pre-school graduation party when he
bit the head off the bunny and began to scream the lyrics to "Crazy
Train."
The world's first Siamese interracial twins graduate. One of them sings
country songs, you know.
After the embarrassing incident at the birthday party, the boys in the
fraternity house began to accept the fact they may have to call pest control.
Screw the Next Page, Let's see Page Three