Tales in Hot Pink is a weekly column by our fearless leader. Like all management, he is not required to tell the truth, represent himself accurately, or trouble himself with reality in any way. And, in keeping with our corporate style, he is not bound by good taste or specific subject, so he may ramble wildly from topic to topic. As his employees, we encourage this, because the day is long and we are frequently bored.
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Dr. Seuss Behind The Wheel
If you see me in your rear view, It's best to move aside For if you do not I will ride your behind.
At a red light, my horn I will honk So when it turns green Stay still you will not.
I will make phone calls While changing lanes I will eat French Fries And scream dirty names.
I have a favorite finger As everyone knows When I'm not flipping it It's often up my nose.
I can read the paper Or make my face I can fix my hair And weave all over the place.
I will steal your space In a crowded parking lot The fact is, I must Or find a handicapped spot.
If you cut me off Do it at your own risk For I have a gun And I rarely miss.
When it comes to driving, This one thing is true: I am important. More important than you.
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| A collection of more diseased madness below. Check
out a few, and then buy The Reluctant
Prophet. We won't tell
anyone what you spent your grocery money on. No one needs to
know. We can keep it just between us.
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E-mail feedback, jokes or nekkid pickchures to Tom at: |
